Selena Gomez and Benny Blanco: A Love Story With Very Different Party Plans

Selena is ready to leave. Benny is just getting started.

In their 2025 conversation with Interview magazine, Selena said she likes arriving at a party early. Sometimes the hosts are still setting up. She wants to see the people she came for, then head out.

Benny’s preferred arrival time? At least two and a half hours late. Then he wants to stay until the end.

“Drives me crazy. But it works out,” Selena said.

You probably don’t need a celebrity example to picture this. One of you is looking for your jacket while the other has just started a conversation that apparently requires another forty minutes. You came to the same party and somehow attended two different evenings.

The funny thing is, in that same interview, Benny said they were both eating a full breakfast by six in the morning. So much for making one the early bird and the other the night owl. They can agree about breakfast and still disagree about when a party has been long enough.

Sometimes the difference is part of the attraction

I think there’s something reassuring about a couple being affectionate and still having ordinary preferences that drive each other a little crazy. You don’t have to enjoy the same amount of everything to enjoy being together.

For this Figure Us Out article, we’re exploring Selena as ISFJ 9w1 and Benny as ENFP 7w6. In everyday terms, that suggests a pairing where one person tends to feel comfortable with familiar routines and time to think, while the other enjoys new possibilities and talking them through.

A quick note: These types are public estimates, not results Selena or Benny gave us. Benny’s Enneagram estimate is particularly uncertain. Their interviews tell us what they’ve chosen to share; the charts and imagined situations explore possibilities, not their private lives. Neither has endorsed Figure Us Out.

For a couple with these tendencies, an enthusiastic partner could make trying something new feel inviting. You get to borrow a little of their excitement. And a thoughtful, accepting partner can be a lovely person to share an idea with before you know whether it’s going anywhere.

Imagine someone saying, “We should take a cooking class!” Their partner starts checking dates and asking what kind of food they’d make. Those questions can sound like the beginning of a list of objections. They might actually be the beginning of a reservation.

It helps to know whether you’re just enjoying the idea or deciding to do it. There’s room for both. And being the first person to check the dates shouldn’t make you responsible for organizing the whole thing.

A few everyday differences

Their personalities, at a glance

Selena’s estimated profileBenny’s estimated profile

But what if you’re always happy to go along?

There’s another possibility in this pairing that feels especially familiar. Selena’s estimated combination includes thinking things over privately and wanting to keep things pleasant. Benny’s includes being quicker to say what sounds exciting.

Imagine a couple choosing what to do on Saturday. One suggests an outing. The other thinks it sounds pretty good and agrees. They have a nice time. Nobody has done anything wrong.

But after several weekends like this, the person who usually goes along realizes they haven’t done much of what they would have picked. Their partner is surprised. They thought the plans were mutual because each one got a yes.

You can genuinely enjoy something and still wish your own ideas had made it into the conversation.

A possible relationship loop

When going along hides what you want

1. Selena’s estimated profile

   Goes along with the plan without mentioning a different preference.

2. Benny’s estimated profile

   Takes the yes to mean the plan suits them both.

3. Selena’s estimated profile

   As the plan takes shape, asking for something different feels harder.

4. Benny’s estimated profile

   Hearing no objection, starts the next choice from the same assumption.

5. Selena’s estimated profile

   Goes along again, leaving the original preference even less visible.

↶ That makes the first response more likely next time.

The coconut shrimp deserve a mention

Benny told ELLE that he prepares and freezes foods Selena likes, including coconut shrimp and individual chicken pot pies. That is a pretty convincing answer to the idea that a fun-loving person can’t think ahead.

There’s a particular kind of affection in remembering what somebody wants to eat when they’re tired. You’ve paid attention to the actual person, rather than just coming up with something that looks romantic.

Then there were the prom photos. Selena hadn’t had a traditional high school prom, so Benny arranged a prom-style photo shoot for her in 2025, complete with a limo and a trip to the mall for pictures. She wore a pink gown; he wore a tux. The photos are worth a look.

Frozen chicken pot pies and a prom night are very different gestures. Both make more sense when you know the person they’re for.

That’s the enjoyable side of learning your partner’s preferences. A surprise can be wonderful when it suits them. A quiet night can feel romantic when quiet is exactly what they want. The effort lands differently when it’s spent on something they’ll actually enjoy.

You can love them and still want to go home

Selena put it simply in her 2024 Vanity Fair interview: “I want him to always be himself. I always want to be myself.”

That sounds lovely. It also leaves you with some practical decisions, including what to do when one person wants another hour at the party and the other has been ready to leave for twenty minutes.

For a couple with different appetites for plans and spontaneity, it can help to decide which parts of the evening they need to count on. Maybe the time they get home is settled, but the rest stays open. Maybe they agree to check in before extending the night. The arrangement needs to work for both people, including whoever would otherwise be waiting around.

You can appreciate someone’s enthusiasm and still ask them to keep an agreement. You can appreciate their thoughtfulness and still ask for a little room to see how the day goes.

At Figure Us Out, that’s what learning about each other is for. You get a better sense of the person you’re living with, the things you naturally enjoy together, and the differences you’ll probably need to keep making room for.

We don’t know how Selena and Benny handle every difference at home. But the stories they’ve shared leave room for something a lot of couples will recognize: you can be delighted by a person and occasionally wish they would please get in the car.

What would your own personalities look like together?

Your relationship might have different places where things come easily and different misunderstandings that keep coming back. Figure Us Out helps you look at both personalities together.

You each answer questions about yourselves. One couples package includes two personal reports, a shared couples guidebook, a 12-week workbook, and a downloadable book you can print. One payment covers both of you, with no subscription.

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